The Poetic Lift

Author: Kamika Manning 

We are often told to be the bigger person.

To stay kind.

To keep giving.

To keep showing up with love, patience and understanding—even when someone keeps giving us the complete opposite.

But there comes a point when being the bigger person doesn’t mean continuing to make yourself smaller.

Sometimes, you have to reflect the energy you receive.

Not out of spite.

Not because you’re trying to hurt anyone.

But because you finally understand that your energy matters too.

If someone brings you respect, give them respect.

If someone brings you honesty, meet them with honesty.

If someone celebrates you, celebrate them.

If someone checks on you, check on them.

If someone makes space for you, make space for them.

But if someone continually dismisses you, drains you, disrespects you or only remembers you when they need something, you don’t have to keep pouring into that relationship as though nothing is happening.

You can step back.

You can become quieter.

You can stop explaining yourself.

You can stop chasing.

You can stop giving more than you’re receiving.

And here’s the thing: reflecting energy doesn’t mean becoming the very thing that hurt you.

If someone is rude, you don’t have to become rude.

If someone is bitter, you don’t have to become bitter.

If someone wants conflict, you don’t have to give them a front-row seat to your peace.

Sometimes the energy you reflect is simply distance.

Sometimes it’s a boundary.

Sometimes it’s silence.

Sometimes it’s saying, “I wish you well, but I no longer have the capacity to keep participating in this.”

That’s not weakness.

That’s awareness.

We spend so much time worrying about whether people like us that we forget to ask a more important question:

Do I like the way I feel when I’m around them?

Because energy tells you something.

Pay attention to how you feel after certain conversations.

Pay attention to who leaves you feeling encouraged and who constantly leaves you questioning your worth.

Pay attention to who only takes and who also gives.

Pay attention to who respects your boundaries and who keeps testing them.

You don’t have to punish anyone.

You don’t have to announce your departure.

You don’t have to create a dramatic ending.

Sometimes you simply stop giving the same access.

Your energy is valuable.

Your kindness is valuable.

Your time is valuable.

And your peace is valuable.

So yes, reflect the energy you receive—but do it with intention.

Give love where love is present.

Give respect where respect is mutual.

Give effort where effort is appreciated.

And where the energy is consistently wrong for you?

You are allowed to step back.

Not because you’ve become cold.

Because you’ve finally learned that protecting your peace is also a form of self-respect.

Don’t become what hurt you.

Just stop offering yourself where you’re continually being hurt. Check out my previous posts. Listen to The Poetic Lift podcast on Spotify, Amazon Music, Audible or just ask your smart speaker to play it.